Results Vs Process
In my journey to a more fulfilled life, I have experimented with changing my approach to certain activities, weighing up the value of either the results or the process of each activity.
“You are a human being. Not a human doing.”
I heard a wise lady say this and it’s stuck with me. She was talking about herself, but it still resonated with me.
It’s no secret that I do care about results, and to survive in today’s western world I think it would be naive to pretend that results don’t matter. However, I feel that this can lead to an underlying sense of dissatisfaction that was always kind of bubbling away under the surface.
Eastern wisdom encourages us to be present, and considers this as something that needs practice. Here are some areas that I have shifted to focus on the process rather than results, at least some of the time, which has given me a greater sense of satisfaction in my life.
Exercise
This was a big one for me. If you’re like me, and competitive sport doesn’t do anything for you, you may have found yourself in a similar situation when it came to keeping in shape. In a world of assessing and measuring things, in my young adult life I had come to treat exercise as a calorie counting activity. Every walk was counted with a pedometer, every trip to the gym was measured in minutes and inclines and intervals, and to be honest, I hated it. In hindsight this is clearly because I was focused on the result rather than whether or not I enjoyed the activity itself.
This effected everything for me. Going to the gym felt like a burden, an obligation, and guilt was what motivated me to go. I’d see the appointments in my diary and dread it. If I had a ‘good excuse’ not to go, it was an absolute treat.
Fast forward a few years and I’d swapped that for yoga, paddle boarding, conservation work in the woodlands, walking for pleasure.
I don’t even think of it as ‘exercise‘. It’s my ‘me time’. These are the things I do to relax, to have fun, to unwind and mess around. They give me peace and fulfilment, and I experience a childlike joy just taking part. I don’t care how good I am at them, or whether I’m getting better, or whether I’d win competitions doing them. I know I am getting better at them, and I know I’m stronger and healthier for it, but I’m happy for that to be a byproduct of my pure enjoyment.
In the big picture, I know I need to exercise as many of us do, as part of managing the increasing sedentary lifestyle imposed on us by our workloads. It’s not that the results of these activities don’t matter, I’ve just flipped the priority. By focusing on enjoying the process rather than getting a result, I’ve completely changed how I feel about being active. It also means you’ll keep doing it, whether you’re ‘making progress’ or not.
I’m not saying you should never do exercise to get a result, only to allow yourself to not make it all about that. Do things that you enjoy just for the sake of it. Let your inner child climb a tree or swim in the river just for fun. Like we did when we were kids.
Creativity
This is a big one I see in other people. People can shy away from creative activities because they either don’t like or fear they won’t like the results. Knit, dance, sing, make cakes, play ukulele, paint – again if you enjoy doing it, the end result doesn’t matter.
Last week on the podcast my wise and lovely guest Alice May spoke a lot about using creativity as a therapy. Alice said that she felt bad emotions come through her onto the canvas and she felt like those feelings had been processed in a way, and were no longer inside her. Doing the activity helped her, and she encourages other people to try it, regardless of whether you think you can paint or not. The value is in engaging in the process, not whether or not the picture is any good.
I think making things is good for the soul, and obviously I’m a huge advocate of music being a healer. Engaging with the arts in any way nourishes a part of us all I think. More things are available nowadays to encourage even the most “uncreative” of adults to give it a go, such as adult colouring books. The benefit being that it helps reduce stress and helps people feel calmer, by finding those pockets of peace in this ever increasing business of life.
This is also something we can do for others, as well as ourselves; not to be critical of the outcome of people’s efforts. Allow others to focus on the process and not the results. If people want to sing or paint or belly-dance for pleasure, then let them if it makes them feel better – whether or not the results are “any good”.
Nutrition
Again this was a big one for me. Shifting my focus from being fed to nourishing myself. There are times when people need to focus on the results of what they’re eating, I don’t dispute that. I just feel we look at the wrong ball so much of the time. A food is often judged on its calorie count rather than it’s nutritional value, and what impact it may or may not have on one’s appearance rather than one’s health.
I was lucky enough to spend some time with a wonderful nutritionist a few years ago who walked side by side with me through my desire to make food work for me rather than against me. What I found was that focusing on the process of being nourished actually made me desire things that are good for me, things that will help me naturally manage my energy, and make me feel good all the time. It removed all the guilt surrounding food, curbed cravings for non-nutritious things, and took the focus away from both the instant gratification of eating, and the longer term impact on my appearance.
Around this time I heard a Buddhist monk say that food has meaning when it’s in your stomach giving you energy, and I found that a lovely way to look at it.
I’m obviously not an expert in this area, but I found this way of looking at it helpful. To focus on the process of being nourished, as opposed to the result of tasting something, or having an effect on your appearance.
Food for thought
As always, this is just food for thought. I’m just sharing things that I have found helpful and interesting, in the hope that it might help you, should you want that. For me, focusing on the process of something helps me be in the moment, rather than focusing on a result, where we’re concerned about the future. In finding a balance between the two, a sense of greater fulfilment can be found.
Have a great week everyone.
Dx
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